Spring Equinox arrives tomorrow, the first day of Spring, representing the renewal of life, an awakening of our world from dark to light and the awakening of light within us. It is the time to plant seeds, outside of ourselves and inside ourselves.
We are invited now to come out of our hibernation and shine forth into the world, however we are called to do so and I feel a sense of stillness as I sit here typing, I feel the change but I don't feel I am bursting full of life, I am in a state of reflection, wanting to really tune in with what is being asked of me, how I can serve in alignment with my highest self.
When I sat in our women's circle on Thursday evening I was talking about how I felt stagnant, like there were things revolving around my atmosphere but I wasn't taking hold of any of them fully. I rambled for quite a while about my work and that I didn't feel I had any particular ambition or goal for what I want it to look like and that felt like a negative. Of course this can be a negative if I choose to look at it in that way, however, there can be a positive perspective of not having a specific goal for something. I am a huge believer that we are always provided for and if we listen hard enough we will be guided to where we need to be and when, and this has never failed me.
When it came to writing our intentions down for Spring, all that kept coming to me was 'meditate, meditate, meditate' but I wanted something more, I didn't want to admit to myself that the answer I am looking for is as simple as meditating each morning. My monkey mind wants more complexity than that, it wants me to keep looking outside of myself for the answers but they don't lie there, they lie in my soul.
Meditating regularly has escaped me in recent years after having Alara, I just haven't done it and I've told myself that's ok. More recently I have attempted it, telling myself I will get up at 5:30 and I managed it a couple of times but then the pull and my attachment to sleep sabotaged my efforts. I didn't realise how attached to sleep I was until starting to try and meditate again, I tell myself over and over that if I don't sleep enough I will get sick or I'll be grumpy, the reality is, that's just not true, the meditation will completely over -ride this, I just have to get to the temple each morning and do it!
A funny story related to this was that one morning I woke up to meditate but said to myself 'I can't be bothered to go to the temple, I'll just sit up in bed...' you can imagine where that lead, me laying down, asleep. After falling back to sleep I had a dream, I dreamt Babaji text me, I looked at my phone and saw his WhatsApp picture and just said to myself 'someone is F***ing with me!' the text said 'were you meditating just now?' I paused and another text came through 'you're supposed to be sat up with an aligned spine when you meditate'. I couldn't believe my eyes. I woke up from the dream and it felt very clear I was being told to get up and do what I am resisting.
So, this all leads me to my intention for Spring Equinox, to meditate, every morning. I can feel the discomfort in me as I type that, but I know where there is resistance there is magic and so I am going to let that be my pull, the magic of what will come when I get out of my own way and sit with myself each morning.
Our intentions can be so simple and yes this is a much more natural time for those 'New Year Resolutions' but they don't have to be big, fancy, change the world type intentions. Nowadays we so easily forget to just relax into the simplicity of our lives and to appreciate what is right in front of us and what is right in front of me? Meditation, tomorrow, 5:30am. See you there Babaji!
I would love to know your Spring Intentions, please do share them with me if you feel to.
Much love,
Lauren xxx
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